Recipe: Good Morning Egg Sandwich

I know what you're thinking, "OMIGOD, I should get this checked!" and "anyone can make an egg sandwich!" Yes, that's what I thought too, but here you are reading a recipe for egg sandwiches - genius.

Mmm, you know it's good because it's oozing all over the place

Simple* Egg Sandwich
Serves 1 (you will probably make another because it's so good)

INGREDIENTS

• One slice of ham (preferably Krakus or other Polish ham), cut in half*
• One slice American (or cheddar) cheese (I use Kraft Deli Deluxe, you can use whatever you like)
• One egg
• 2 slices of sandwich bread*
• 1 Tbs butter, plus a little more for spreading
• Salt & pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Heat 1/2 of the butter in a non-stick skillet over medium-high heat until the butter is melted and stops foaming - that's how you know it's ready
2. Cook the ham in the butter until browned on one side (~90 seconds). Flip, and brown the second side (~40 seconds). Remove ham from skillet and set aside
3. Add the remaining butter and allow to melt.
4. Put the bread into the toaster, and start toasting.
5. Crack egg into skillet carefully - you want to preserve a nicely formed yolk. Brazenly cracking an egg into a pan might ruin this morning perfection.
6. Cook until the white is mostly set on the first side (~90 seconds)
7. Artfully flip the egg and cook the second side (~60 seconds). The goal is to cook the egg to between over-easy and over-medium, so adjust the cooking times as needed. You want the runny yolk, but you don't want a goddamn yolk disaster all over your fancy shirt and tie. By the way, you look great this morning!
8. When the toast is done, spread some butter (or margarine - I won't judge) over both pieces of toast on one side only (the inside of the sandwich).
9. Assembly: place the cooked ham on the bottom, slide the cooked egg on-top of the ham, add some salt & pepper, cheese on top of egg, then top bread.
10. Done - time to eat sandwich #1.

RECIPE NOTES

• "Simple?" What's that all about? >> This is a basic sandwich, and it's perfect. Don't fuck up a good thing by trying to make it fancy.
• Why do I need to cut ham in half? >> Polish ham in Chicago comes in rectangles, cutting ham in half will make two bread-sized squares. Job well done? Yes.
• Do I need to use "bread?" >> No. In fact, just this morning I made awesome egg sandwiches from left-over hamburger buns. I only toasted those on one side in the toaster (bagel setting, bitches)