Recipe: Chicken Pot Pie

Hi friends,

When you want some pot pie, you're telling everyone:

GIVE ME MEAT AND PIE CRUST TOGETHER!

Let's talk about how to make your wishes come true.

The way I see it, there are two ways to make a pot pie:

1. Spend all day cooking something that will impress even the toughest judges from Next Iron Chef
2. Make something quick and good that will leave you fully satisfied

Today, we'll focus on #2

Chicken, sauce, veg, and crust. Boom.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 pie crust (recipe below)
• 2-3 bone-in chicken breasts
• 1 lb bag of frozen mixed vegetables
• 1/2 cup flour
• 2 cups chicken broth
• 4 Tbs butter
• Poultry seasoning (preferred) OR thyme
• 1/4 cup half & half (optional)
• Salt & pepper (yadda yadda yadda)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Clean and rinse your chicken breasts, pat dry with paper towels, and place into a shallow baking dish (I use a pie plate). Sprinkle-on some salt and pepper and roast in a 400 degree oven for ~25 minutes. When the chicken has finished cooking, remove the skin and shred the chicken meat into small pieces - the size of piece you want to eat in a pot pie. Set the shredded meat aside.
2. Cook the frozen vegetables in the microwave according to the instructions on the bag (usually 5 minutes on high). When cooked, put into a fine mesh strainer and set aside to drain. You want to remove as much of the water from the veggies as possible.
3. In a medium/large saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the flour and spices (poultry seasoning or thyme), and whisk together (sound familiar? it's roux-makin' time) for 2-3 minutes, or until the mixture darkens to a light golden color. Add half the broth, and continue to whisk (it thickens quickly at first). Continue adding broth while whisking. If the mixture is too "tight," add a little more broth. You're trying to achieve a stiff gravy texture: this will be the sauce for the pot pie. Check the seasoning and add salt & pepper if needed.
4. In a separate bowl, add the veggies, the meat, and just enough sauce to cover. Stir to combine. I do this because sometimes there's waaay too much sauce for the other ingredients. If you just add meat and veg into a lake of sauce, your pot pie will be weird.
5. Add the mix to a casserole dish. Top with a pie crust (you can paint the crust with an egg wash for the most beautiful presentation, or leave it out - it won't affect the taste). Cut some slits in that crust. Bake in your 400 degree oven for ~30 minutes, or until the crust turns brown.
6. Remove and eat.

FAQs

• Egg wash sounds intriguing - how do I do that? >> Mix-up one egg in a bowl and "paint" it on the crust. This ain't rocket surgery...
• How come ~70% of your recipes involve making a roux? >> Good question.
• What is "poultry seasoning?" >> It's a spice mixture at the store, which contains: sage, thyme, celery salt, and savory. Apparently, it's good for poultry - who knew?

Pie Crust

Some people freak-out when it comes to pie crust making. Relax, yo, it's simple: flour + fat + water = crust.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup flour
• 1/3 cup shortening (Crisco)
• 1/3 cup butter
• 1/2 tsp salt
• cold water

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In a medium bowl, mix the flour and salt
2. Dump-in the shortening and cut-in the butter. That means to cut the butter into thin slices, and drop into the flour

Recipe: Oven Fried Chicken

Hey chicken eater! Deep fried chicken is such a pain in the ass! Is there a way to make crispy delicious chicken without turning your kitchen into a greasy cesspool? There is now.

Chicken, noodle dish, and corn. It's dinner time!

INGREDIENTS

• Chicken parts with skin and bones (may I recommend some breasts?)
• Flour
• Oil
• Butter
• Salt

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
2. Rinse your chicken parts in the sink. Be sure to pull-off any stringy parts of skin and fat - eew. Shake-off the excess moisture
3. Fill a gallon-sized zip top bag with ~1 cup of flour and ~1 tsp salt
4. Put your damp chicken parts in the bag with the flour, close the top of the bag* and shake (this will cover your chicken with flour - like, no duh)
5. Meanwhile, heat a large skillet to medium high, add ~1 Tbs of butter and ~1 Tbs of oil, and allow butter to melt
6. Remove the chicken from the bag and place, meaty side down, in the skillet
7. Cook until golden* (about 5 minutes depending on the heat of the pan)

8. Flip and cook the other side for a few more minutes until golden
9. Evacuate the chicken to a half-sheet pan fitted with a rack

10. Bake the chicken in the oven for 60 minutes.
11. Remove from oven and put in your mouth - it's ok, you've earned it.
12. Smile - chicken tastes good.

FAQs

• How should I close this zip top bag, zip it? >> Heavens no, that's too hard. Twist the top of the bag into a makeshift closure and shake. You're not trying to seal this against the elements, you're just trying to keep flour from flying all over your kitchen.
• Is this a messy preparation of chicken? >> Well, it can be. A friend of the blog pointed-out that, even through we're not deep frying that bird, you're still likely to have an oily mess all-over your stove. To minimize this, I recommend (and use) a screen to contain the mess. The screen is like a lid made of mesh - it allows the steam to escape, but catches the oily spatters and mess. When complete, just throw it in the dishwasher or have your kitchen staff take care of it. You bring problems; I bring solutions.

Protect your precious kitchen with this $5 piece of wire and mesh

Recipe: The Shepherd's Other Pie

Shepherd’s Pie is usually made with lamb (you know, a shepherd = sheep). But this is another pie the shepherd might make, this time with chicken. The shepherd doesn't really have much imagination: everything is a casserole topped with mashed potatoes. Let’s begin!

Chicken and mashed potatoes - a match made in heaven? Yes

INGREDIENTS

• 4-5 lb Whole Chicken, thawed
• 4-5 Medium Carrots, sliced thin
• 2 Ribs Celery, medium dice 
• 1 Medium Onion, medium dice
• 1 16 oz Bag of Frozen Peas
• ½ Cup Flour
• 3 Cups Chicken Broth/Stock
• 6 Tbs Butter
• 6-7 Medium Potatoes
• 1 Cup Half & Half
• Salt & Pepper
• Poultry Seasoning

INSTRUCTIONS
Chicken

1. Remove the innards from the chicken (they are usually placed in a convenient bag) and discard. We will not need any chicken guts this evening, but feel free to save them for your special organ meat luncheon that is coming-up.
2. Rinse the chicken well, inside and out. Dry the outside of the chicken with paper towels, and place in a roasting pan large enough to hold the chicken and the juices that are bound to escape
3. Coat the outside with a small amount of vegetable oil (rub it into the meat with your hands) and sprinkle a generous amount of salt inside and outside the bird. The salt with give it flavor, and is very important.
4. Roast in a 350 degree oven for ~90 minutes. Remove from oven, let sit for ~15 minutes, and then separate the meat from the carcass – you only need the meat. Cut the meat into large bite-sized pieces (or shred) and set aside.

Potatoes (we've been here before)

1. Peel and quarter the potatoes. Place into a large pot. Add enough water to barely reach the top of the potatoes. Sprinkle-on 1 Tbs of kosher salt, cover, and set on medium high heat.
2. When the pot comes to a boil, drop the heat to low and simmer for ~20 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender.
3. Drain the water, and rice or mash your potatoes to completion. Add the Half & Half and stir together. You will notice that the mashed potatoes are silky and delicious – oh, that’s good!
4. Set the potatoes aside 

Stew

1. In a large saucepan, melt 2 Tbs of butter over medium heat.  Add the carrots, onion, and celery and cook until tender, about 10 minutes. Be sure to “sweat” the veggies and not brown the veggie. The goal is to cook them to release their flavors, not to add new caramelized flavors. About half-way through the sweating, add ~2 tsp of Poultry Seasoning (or 1 tsp of Thyme) and 1 tsp salt and ½ tsp black pepper. This will give the seasoning a chance to soften (especially Thyme: it’s particularly woody, and can be a little spiky in the dish)
2. Add 2 Tbs of butter and the flour. It’s like a roux (again), and this with thicken the sauce. Cook the flour in the butter and veggies for a few minutes – enough time to allow the flour to cook. Add the broth (1 cup at a time) and stir. Allow the mixture to thicken before adding the next amount. When all the broth has been added, add the frozen peas and allow them to cook in the broth (5 minutes). Add the chicken you have already set aside and bring everything up to proper temperature.

Pie

1. Dump the stew in a decorative casserole dish. Be sure it’s deep enough to contain the stew here.
2. Top with the mashed potatoes – be sure to smooth-out the potatoes to cover the entire dish.
3. Now, you can take a fork and gently carve designs into the potatoes. Melt the remaining 2 Tbs of butter and pour over the potatoes – it will be delicious and also help the potatoes brown in the oven.
4. Bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes, or until the potatoes begin to brown. Remove and eat.

RECIPE NOTES

• This seems tough, is it really worth it? >> Yeah, it is – this was awesome!
• Whole chicken – can I substitute parts? >> Yes, that’s fine. The whole chicken was the right amount of meat. So, I’d go with 2 breasts and 2 thighs or 3 breasts if you want an all-white-meat version.

Recipe: Veggie & Chicken Stir Fry

This is mostly a dish about the veggies. For a more meat-centric meal, increase the amount of meat (no duh). Why send-out for Chinese when you can make this at home? Well, it’s faster and easier – I’ll give you that!

Oh yeah, it's good!

INGREDIENTS

• 1 Boneless Chicken Breast
• 1 Tbs Soy Sauce
• 1 Tbs Dry Sherry
• 2 Carrots, sliced into thin pieces
• 1 Red Bell Pepper, sliced thin
• 2 1/2 Cups Broccoli Florets (from ~2 bunches)
• 3 Ribs Celery, cut lengthwise into thin pieces
• 6 Scallions (white & light green parts), sliced
• 1 Handful Bean Sprouts (~5 oz)
• 1 Can Baby Corn Cobs, drained (15 oz can)
• 1 Can Water Chestnuts (sliced), drained (8 oz can)
• 1 Tbs Ginger, minced
• 1 tsp Garlic, minced
• 3+ Tbs Stir Fry Sauce (from a bottle)
• Canola Oil (or any mild high-heat vegetable oil)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Meat prep: Ideally, the chicken is “mostly” thawed. Slice into 2” by 1/8” pieces. Put chicken in a bowl – add soy sauce and sherry and marinate for ~20 minutes.
2. Veggie prep: There are a lot of veggie to cut, and this is the longest part of the recipe. Carrots: peel, cut-off top and bottom, and cut in half. Then cut in half again – lengthwise. Next, slice into 1/16” pieces. Red Bell Pepper: slice into 2” by 1/8” pieces. Broccoli: cut the florets off the bunch and then again into bit-size pieces. Celery: wash and slice on the bias (diagonally). Scallions: slice the white and light green parts into 1/8” rounds.
3. Cooking: This is all about putting the right things in at the right time and cooking quickly. Start with a large skillet or wok over high heat.
1. Meat: Add ~2 Tbs oil to the pan, drain the meat, and cook. You’ll notice a shit-load of noise – this is good. Cook the meat for ~2 minutes and then remove to a bowl or plate.
2. Veggie 1: Add ~1 Tbs of oil to the pan and heat until shimmering. Add carrots and bell pepper and cook for ~2 minutes, stirring frequently. Move veggies to the outer perimeter of the pan clearing some space in the center.
3. Veggie 2: Add 1-2 tsp of oil and heat until shimmering. Add broccoli and cook for ~1 minute. Add ~1 Tbs of water and cover for ~1 minute. This will steam the broccoli and make it more tender. Clear space in the center of the pan.
4. Veggie 3: Add 1-2 tsp of oil and heat until shimmering. Add celery and cook for 1-2 minutes until softened. Clear space blah blah blah...
5. Veggie 4: Add 1 tsp of oil and heat until shimmering. Add ginger and garlic and cook for ~30 seconds. Then add the sprouts, corn, and water chestnuts and stir the entire thing together.
4. Add the chicken back to the pan, add the stir fry sauce, and cook for 1-2 minutes until all is heated-through.
5. Serve over rice. Mmm, molto bene!

FAQs

• Bottled stir fry sauce? >> Yeah, this is the easiest way to get-through this one. Alternatively, you can make your own stir fry sauce, but you’ll need an entire friggin’ Chinese pantry to make it happen.
• Where do I get baby corn cobs? >> I got them at the supermarket – check the Asian section, loser.

Recipe: Chicken Noodle Soup

Not that you can’t find heat-and-eat soup in a can; but don’t you want something that’s homemade, has less salt, and only costs pennies per serving? Let me answer for you: YES, YOU DO!

Here’s a recipe for chicken noodle soup that’s as easy as it gets and is mmm mmm God Damn delicious!

I use different noodles, but this shows how delicious it can be...

INGREDIENTS

• Two bone-in chicken breasts
• 96 oz. of chicken broth (aseptic container or home-made preferred)
• 4 carrots (cut into “coins”)
• 4-5 celery ribs (chopped)
• 12 oz. Egg noodles – specifically “Kluski” noodles (they look like the noodles in the Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup can)
• Water
• Salt & pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees. Rinse the chicken breasts with warm water, clean-off the extra fat and nonsense, and pat-dry with a paper towel. Place the chicken into a glass baking dish and roast in the oven for ~25 minutes or until cooked (may take longer depending on the shape of the breasts – check the temp with an instant read thermometer – 180 degrees for white meat chicken – or, cut-into the breast at 25 minutes. If it’s all “white,” then you’re good to go, otherwise cook for additional five minute intervals until done).
2. While the chicken is roasting, you can prep the veggies. Clean the celery and peel the carrots. Slice the vegetables into thin slices – remember: you’re going to have to fit this on a spoon.
3. Pour the chicken broth into a large stockpot (your largest) and set the flame to medium. Dump-in the vegetables. Bring the broth to a simmer – it’s not necessary to boil. In fact, try to hit 200 degrees (if possible) without ever getting to 212 (that’s the boiling point at sea level). The reason is that “boiling” is pretty destructive, and you’re trying to keep some delicate flavors alive.
4. Once the pot’s reached its target temperature, add the noodles and simmer for ~10 minutes or until the noodles are cooked.
5. At this point, the chicken should be done. Peel-off the skin and remove the meat from the bones. Cut that breast into small soup-sized pieces and add to the pot. If there are any “drippings” in the baking dish, toss those in as well – no use wastin’ all that good flavor!
6. Check the soup flavor – chances are, it needs salt – go ahead and add some. If the mix is a bit too strong, add some water – add as much as you like. That’s it – no brain surgery.

FAQs

• Aseptic container? >> That’s the “carton” of chicken broth you see at the store. It has a better flavor than the cans, which I find “tinny” for this recipe. The large boxes generally come-in 32 or 48 oz. sizes, so use two or three for this recipe. If you want to make home-made chicken stock, then more power to you. It’s something I haven’t made yet, and don’t really have the storage space to contain...
• Checking doneness of chicken >> If, for some reason, your chicken escapes the oven before it’s “completely” done, relax: it’s going to spend a little time in a pot of near-boiling broth/water; it won’t infect you with salmonella. But, you really are going to have to learn how to check a chicken’s doneness and the time/temp guidelines for meats – I mean, I’m not going to live as your culinary judo master forever, you know!
• 200 degrees? Are you serious? >> Yes. Like I said, you don’t want to vigorously boil the mixture, so try to keep it just under the boil. That’s called a “bare simmer” and it means that bubbles are just barely breaking the surface of the pot. If you live in the mountains and have altitude issues with the boiling temperature of water, then you’re on your own.
• This seems pretty bland >> Yeah, don’t go crazy and start adding a bunch of other weird shit to the pot – this is a recipe for a good honest bowl of chicken noodle soup – simple and good.