Recipe: Guacamole

The first time I made this was for when my boss came-over for dinner with his fiancee. The guy ended-up eating way more than his fair share - what a DICK! Anyway, it's awesome guacamole - give it a try and you'll see...

Guacamole

I’ve had Mexican guacamole, and it’s no wonder there’s so much of an illegal immigration problem: they’re all trying to get some of my Chicago-style chip dip. Do yourself a favor and make this.

Get yourself a molcajete, or a gay boyfriend, and you can serve-it-up fancy like this!

INGREDIENTS

• 4 Haas Avocados (those are the dark bumpy ones)
• Juice from one lime (be sure to get all that juice)
• 1/4 Red Onion, diced super-fine (and rinsed)
• 1 Tbs Cilantro leaves, chopped
• 4 Roma Tomatoes, diced (see note)
• 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
• 1 tsp Kosher Salt

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Scoop-out the avocado flesh and put in a large bowl. Dump lime juice over the avocados. Add the garlic powder and half the salt. Mix with a potato masher until it reaches the desired consistency.
2. Stir-in the tomatoes, onion, and cilantro. Check seasoning – add the rest of the salt if needed.
3. Move from the large bowl to a fancier chip dippin’ bowl. Eat.

RECIPE NOTES

• Avocados >> Usually, from the selection of avocados at the store, you’re either making guacamole TONIGHT (OMG, THEY ARE READY THIS FUCKING SECOND!) or next weekend – meaning that they’re either pudding-soft or hard as a rock. When choosing an avocado, you ideally want one that gives “slightly” under pressure from your thumb and doesn’t feel like a rotten banana. AND, don’t pick the “fuerte” avocados: those are the bright green ones that are big. They don’t make good guacamole because they NEVER reach the right texture.
• How do I remove the seed from the avocado? >> What I do, and it’s recommended by every chef out there, is to halve the avocado (the seed will be in one of the halves) and then, using your chefs knife, lightly “chop down” on the seed – embedding the knife into the seed, then twist the knife/seed – loosening and removing the seed. To get the seed off the knife, I pinch it off with my fingers (from the top of the knife – not the blade).
• Tomatoes >> When dicing the tomatoes, you only want the flesh – not the juice and seeds. So, slice-off the “sides” of the tomato only and ditch the seeds and pulp. That way, you’ve got only what you need and it won’t water-down the guacamole. Who’s the smart one now?
• No hot peppers? >> Nope. I don’t want to muddy-up my perfect guacamole with heat and spice that will overwhelm the entire thing. If you used your brain once and a while, you’d realize I’m right.
• Why rinse the onion? >> Raw onion is pretty pungent, and you don't usually want all that onion flavor overpowering the rest of your delicate flavors. So, after the onions are diced, rinse them under cold water - then drain - and they will add just the right amount of onion and not ruin the rest of the thing.