Recipe: Badass Steak!

I can't believe it's taken this long, but we finally have STEAK!

Now, there are a lot of ways to make a steak, and most of them are correct (meaning that you really have to fuck things up royal to make a steak taste bad), but I have the BEST WAY TO COOK A GODDAMN STEAK RIGHT HERE!

INGREDIENTS

• Steak(s)
• Salt
• Pepper
• Canola oil

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Pre-heat your oven to 500 degrees (that's right, 500 motherfucking degrees!), which will take 15-30 minutes

2. Remove the steak(s) from the fridge, liberally salt & pepper, and rub with oil. Allow to rest until I tell you otherwise.

3. When the oven has reached 500, and been there for 5-10 minutes, throw your cast iron skillet into the oven for 5 minutes - you want to get that thing red-fucking-hot!
4. After 5 minutes, crank a burner to high heat, remove the skillet from the oven (use a mitt or gloves) and put it on the burner, then place the steak(s) into the skillet - witness the sizzle, which is good!

5. DON'T FUCKING TOUCH, for 3 minutes.
6. Flip and cook the other side(s) for 3 more minutes

7. Put in the 500 degree oven for 3 minutes
8. Open the oven, flip the steak(s), and cook for another 3 minutes

9. Remove, evacuate to a strategically placed cutting board, tent with foil, and rest for 3 minutes

10. Cut on the bias and serve to your special lady friend

Serving Suggestion

• Serve with badass mashed potatoes and a vegetable (we used frozen corn tonight)

FAQs

• Why a cast-iron skillet? >> Because you can heat that thing on the sun and not have to worry about warping or melting Teflon or any of that bullshit. Plus cowboys used to cook on it, so it's totally badass!
• Seems too easy - what about Bearnaise, Au Poivre, or other fancier finishes? >> Fuck off, this is badass.