Badass Mother's Day (crepes for my lady)

Hey, it’s Mother’s Day again, and your wife refuses to leave the bed until the children serve breakfast in it – what do you do?  Well, if you’re like me, and you don’t trust the children to NOT burn-down the house, then it’s downstairs to the crepe-making place…

Mmm, crepes...

Crepe Batter
Makes enough for ~12 8” crepes

INGREDIENTS

• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup milk
• 1/2 cup water
• 2 Tbs sugar
• 1 cup flour
• 3 Tbs melted butter

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Combine all ingredients and mix vigorously.  Be sure to evenly blend all ingredients into a homogenous mixture.  Park in the fridge for ~30 minutes – this will allow the mixture to come-together as one.
2. Heat a small (8”) non-stick pan to medium.  Add a small amount of butter to the pan (for lubrication purposes).  Ladle an amount of crepe batter that will evenly cover the bottom of the pan – to an approximate 1/8” thickness.  Cook for up to a minute – just enough time to “set” the bottom of the crepe.  Flip the crepe, and cook the other side (the second side should take less time – try 30 seconds to start).
3. Remove the crepe from the pan, place on a plate and cover with a kitchen towel (if planning to serve warm).  When you’ve amassed enough crepes, you may fill and serve.

SERVICE OPTIONS

• Spoon some filling down the center of the crepe and roll-up like a burrito.  There’s really no wrong way to fill a crepe. (filling options listed below...)

FAQs

• Crepe Technique?? >> the real ‘trick’ about crepes is the technique.  You want to allow the batter to spread itself throughout the pan evenly.  I ladle an appropriate amount of batter in the pan, and swirl it around until it’s even.  Practice with the first couple crepes – there should be enough for you to experiment.  If this is your first crepe making adventure, make a double-batch with the express intent of sacrificing an entire legion of misshapen breakfast quick-breads.
• Sugar?? >> this is a recipe for ‘sweet’ crepes.  There are such things as ‘savory’ crepes, but that is not my concern here – just remove the sugar if you want to fill it with BBQ chicken or something like that...

Berries & Cream Filling
Good for crepes, and just about anything else

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup heavy cream
• 2 Tbs granulated sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Berry assortment (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries – you choose the mix)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Rinse all berries.  If using strawberries, cut them to match the size of the other berries.  Add rinsed/cut berries to a bowl and add 1 Tbs of sugar; mix.  This will help macerate the berries, which will force them to release some juices.  Trust me, this is what you want.  Put the berries in the fridge for 30+ minutes.
2. In the bowl of your stand mixer, add the heavy cream, 1 Tbs of sugar, and vanilla, and beat with the whisk attachment until stiff peaks form.  No stand mixer?  Change ‘stand mixer’ to ‘large bowl’ and ‘whisk attachment’ to ‘whisk under human power.’  It will take longer and far more effort by hand, but the taste will remain the same.

Chocolate & Banana Filling
Another winning combo

INGREDIENTS

• 2 bananas, sliced
• Jar of Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. No prep – just spread the Nutella on your crepe, and layer bananas inside – completely idiot-proof.

“Boston Cream” Filling
Holy shit! This was new for 2012, and OMIGOD it was a hit. Basically, it’s Nutella and pastry cream together. Wow. 

INGREDIENTS

• 2 Cups milk
• 1/4 Cup + 1/3 Cup granulated sugar
• 1 egg + 2 egg yolks
• 1/4 Cup cornstarch
• 2 Tbs butter
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Jar of Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)

INSTRUCTIONS

Pastry Cream

1. In a small saucepan, cook 2 Cups milk and 1/4 Cup of sugar until the milk boils – then no further.
2. While the milk is heating, mix the whole egg and two egg yolks with a whisk until creamy and lightened in color. Add the 1/3 Cup sugar and 1/4 Cup cornstarch and whisk until fully blended and smooth.
3. When the milk begins to boil, remove from the heat and slowly introduce the boiling milk to the eggs. Slowly because if you pour all that heat into the eggs, you’ll scramble them – no good. What you’re doing is called “tempering,” and it’s a way to introduce something hot into something cold without “cooking” the cold thing. I use a ladle and do it one ladle-full at a time.
4. When all the hot milk has been incorporated, pour the whole thing back into the pot and cook (gently) for a few minutes, or until the mixture thickens. How long will this take? Oh, maybe a few DAMN SECONDS, holy shit – I turned my back on it yesterday, and then had a thick pot of stuff – luckily it wasn’t ruined, but stay close: this is going to set-up quickly.
5. When thickened, turn-off the heat, add the butter and vanilla and stir to melt the butter.
6. Pour into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap (directly touching the cream – to prevent a “skin” from forming) and park in the fridge until cooled. This will take 1+ hours.

Crepe assembly

1. Like in the chocolate-banana crepes, smear a crepe with Nutella spread and spoon-on some pastry cream.
2. Roll-up like a crepe and put on a plate.