Recipe: Split Pea Soup

Egad, it's been a while since I posted. Have you all been starving in the meantime? I sure hope so - I don't want to consider what you're eating without my careful guidance and teachings.

Hey, it's springtime - the time of soup? Well, sure. People like soup - it's easy to eat. AND, when it's this easy to make, you don't ask questions:

Split Pea Soup
Makes approx. 1 gallon. Yeah, it looks disgusting, but it tastes oh so good…

Smooth. That's heavy cream artfully swirled on-top.

I am an expert. You can also sprinkle bacon on this: oh yeah.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 lb Dried Split Peas
• 6+ Cups Chicken Broth
• 2 Onions, diced
• 2 Stalks Celery, diced
• 1 Large Carrot, diced
• 3 Russet Potatoes, peeled and diced
• 1/2 lb. Bacon, cut into 1/2" pieces
• 2 Tbs Butter
• 2 tsp Cumin
• 1/2 tsp Thyme
• Salt & Black Pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In a large stockpot, cook the bacon over medium heat until crispy.  We’re trying to extract the grease from the bacon AND cook bacon to be used later as garnish.  Basically, cook the bacon until crispy but not burnt.  Evacuate the bacon to a paper towel lined plate, and pour off all but 3 Tbs of grease from the pot. 
2. Add butter, onions, celery, and carrots to pot and sauté until onions are softened and translucent – about 10 minutes.
3. Add peas, potatoes, chicken broth, cumin, and thyme and simmer for ~30 minutes or until peas are tender.
4. Using your kick-ass stick blender, buzz the soup until smooth.  Oh, don’t have a sick blender?  Well, I suggest getting one immediately.  If you still don’t have one, you can puree the soup (in batches) in your blender.  Make sure the top is securely fastened – hot soup is painful when it sprays you in the eye!
5. Serve and eat!

SERVING SUGGESTIONS

• You can garnish this with a little bit of heavy cream floated on top or even a dollop of sour cream.  That little blast of dairy would be a nice touch. You can also sprinkle-on the bacon. A sprinkling of bacon is always welcome to anything.

FAQs

• Bacon? >> Go figure, another great tasting dish that has bacon at its core.  In this case, the bacon is the smokiness that begins the flavor journey.  Be honest, you LOVE that there’s bacon in this soup...
• Can I go rustic? >> Yeah, I've seen this kind of soup served-up peasant style with all kinds of chunks and things. Let's be honest, a smooth pea-green soup is way more elegant than a chunky pea-green soup. You can eat what you like, but I'm teaching badass elegance here - not hipster-return-to-roots kinds of soup.

Recipe: Potato & Leek Soup

It's wintertime, and that means it's time for soup. After I made this, my wife exclaimed, "Mama Mia, that's a spicy meatball!" wait, wrong wife. She actually said it was the best soup I have ever made. Sounds like high praise, right? Well, I have made a number of soups in the past, and my ego of experience took a huge hit (were the soups from the past just bowls of poorly made piss?) No matter. I choose to accept this praise at face value: she enjoyed the soup. I'm guessing that you will enjoy it too. Enjoy it, that is, unless you fuck it up. Keep reading to see how to make it right.

Potato & Leek soup in a bowl on my table. 

What's that? Homemade bread too? Yes, I am awesome

INGREDIENTS

• 3-4 leeks, washed and cut into rings
• 1 onion, diced
• 3 potatoes, peeled and diced
• 4 cups vegetable broth
• 4 Tbs butter
• 1 cup half & half
• Salt & pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Prep the veggies: dice the potato, dice the onion, and wash & cut the leeks (see the note on leeks below - they deserve special attention)
2. In a large pot, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the veggies and cook until tender but not browned - about 10 minutes. Stir the veggies from time to time to prevent browning. Add the stock and bring to a boil (if the stock is not enough, feel free to add a little water - enough to barely cover the vegetables). Reduce the heat, cover, and simmer for ~20 minutes until the vegetables are cooked-through.

Leeks, onions, and potatoes in the pot with vegetable stock. Note how the veg stock slightly exceeds the level of the materials - this is the right amount (you can even go with a little less stock). Why is the veg stock red? It's the tomatoes - veg stock has some tomatoes in it

4. Now it's time to process: using your trusty stick blender, buzz the shit out of the mixture until it's smooth and creamy. no stick blender? Put the mixture into a blender or a food processor and spin to win. Watch out! Hot soup is like napalm in a blender - don't get any on you!

Stick blender in the pot grinding-up soup. It's the way to go

5. Add the half & half and stir. Taste it. Needs salt, right? Add salt & pepper to taste.

Add the half & half, buzz, and then add the salt

6. Done. Ladle-up some, and eat healthy soup with your family.

RECIPE NOTES

Use all the white, all the light green, and ~1" of the dark green

• What do I do with these friggin' leeks? >> They are certainly weird. And unless you're a bonafide soup maker, you're unlikely to have any experience with leeks. A leek is like a large green onion - a tender white bottom and a dark green top/stalk. The dark green tops are tough - let's get rid of most of them. Cut-off the bottom root (trim closely, we want to preserve the white section) and the top - leaving only ~1" of dark green. Now, cut the whole stalk in-half lengthwise. Look closely, you will notice that the leek is made of many layers (like an onion). Leeks are grown in especially loose and sandy soil, so there's likely to be dirt and grit in between layers. Slice the leeks into 1/2" rings then drop those leeks into some clean water and clean 'em off. Rinse and repeat. Advanced move: spin in a salad spinner to remove the water - yeah, that's the stuff
• How do I store this soup? >> I don't recommend long-term storage, but this will make ~3/5 gallons of soup - possibly more than you want to eat all at once. I recommend using mason jars for storage. You can use the small pint-sized ones to make a soup serving ready to bring to work. Or you can dump it into a half-gallon jar and store it in the fridge (pictured)

Jar full of soup. Keep it next to the orange juice and above the shelf of beer

UPDATE - July 2, 2012

I made this soup last night and decided that I wanted a greener and more healthful looking soup. Let's face it; made properly, the potato leek soup is not as green as you'd expect. The soup takes-on more color from the potato than the leek (we're using the tender white bottom after all...) How to make it green...?

SPINACH!

For greener soup, cook the soup as directed above. For the last 3-5 minutes, drop-in a cup of baby spinach and let it cook with the soup. Those leaves cook quick, and won't add much flavor, but oh baby, they add color and health to the soup. Grind it up as before, and you'll have a beautiful green soup ready for consumption. You're welcome

Here it is with the spinach buzzed-in. Notice the greener hue and green flecks. 

That's health staring you in the face. Popeye would be proud.

Recipe: Chicken Noodle Soup

Not that you can’t find heat-and-eat soup in a can; but don’t you want something that’s homemade, has less salt, and only costs pennies per serving? Let me answer for you: YES, YOU DO!

Here’s a recipe for chicken noodle soup that’s as easy as it gets and is mmm mmm God Damn delicious!

I use different noodles, but this shows how delicious it can be...

INGREDIENTS

• Two bone-in chicken breasts
• 96 oz. of chicken broth (aseptic container or home-made preferred)
• 4 carrots (cut into “coins”)
• 4-5 celery ribs (chopped)
• 12 oz. Egg noodles – specifically “Kluski” noodles (they look like the noodles in the Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup can)
• Water
• Salt & pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees. Rinse the chicken breasts with warm water, clean-off the extra fat and nonsense, and pat-dry with a paper towel. Place the chicken into a glass baking dish and roast in the oven for ~25 minutes or until cooked (may take longer depending on the shape of the breasts – check the temp with an instant read thermometer – 180 degrees for white meat chicken – or, cut-into the breast at 25 minutes. If it’s all “white,” then you’re good to go, otherwise cook for additional five minute intervals until done).
2. While the chicken is roasting, you can prep the veggies. Clean the celery and peel the carrots. Slice the vegetables into thin slices – remember: you’re going to have to fit this on a spoon.
3. Pour the chicken broth into a large stockpot (your largest) and set the flame to medium. Dump-in the vegetables. Bring the broth to a simmer – it’s not necessary to boil. In fact, try to hit 200 degrees (if possible) without ever getting to 212 (that’s the boiling point at sea level). The reason is that “boiling” is pretty destructive, and you’re trying to keep some delicate flavors alive.
4. Once the pot’s reached its target temperature, add the noodles and simmer for ~10 minutes or until the noodles are cooked.
5. At this point, the chicken should be done. Peel-off the skin and remove the meat from the bones. Cut that breast into small soup-sized pieces and add to the pot. If there are any “drippings” in the baking dish, toss those in as well – no use wastin’ all that good flavor!
6. Check the soup flavor – chances are, it needs salt – go ahead and add some. If the mix is a bit too strong, add some water – add as much as you like. That’s it – no brain surgery.

FAQs

• Aseptic container? >> That’s the “carton” of chicken broth you see at the store. It has a better flavor than the cans, which I find “tinny” for this recipe. The large boxes generally come-in 32 or 48 oz. sizes, so use two or three for this recipe. If you want to make home-made chicken stock, then more power to you. It’s something I haven’t made yet, and don’t really have the storage space to contain...
• Checking doneness of chicken >> If, for some reason, your chicken escapes the oven before it’s “completely” done, relax: it’s going to spend a little time in a pot of near-boiling broth/water; it won’t infect you with salmonella. But, you really are going to have to learn how to check a chicken’s doneness and the time/temp guidelines for meats – I mean, I’m not going to live as your culinary judo master forever, you know!
• 200 degrees? Are you serious? >> Yes. Like I said, you don’t want to vigorously boil the mixture, so try to keep it just under the boil. That’s called a “bare simmer” and it means that bubbles are just barely breaking the surface of the pot. If you live in the mountains and have altitude issues with the boiling temperature of water, then you’re on your own.
• This seems pretty bland >> Yeah, don’t go crazy and start adding a bunch of other weird shit to the pot – this is a recipe for a good honest bowl of chicken noodle soup – simple and good.

Recipe: Cheddar Corn Chowder

You've heard of “corn chowder,” well, this is the next logical step: corn chowder with CHEESE, and it’s God Damn delicious! I'll say this is more of a fall/winter soup, but it's been so cold this summer that I needed a little something to warm my bones.

Oh, hello bacon. I didn't know you'd be here

Makes approx. 1 gallon of soup

INGREDIENTS

• 8 oz Bacon, cut into 1/2" pieces
• 1 Tbs Olive Oil
• 2 Large Onions, diced (or 3 medium onions)
• 1 cup Celery, chopped
• 4 Tbs Butter
• 1/2 cup Flour
• 1/2 tsp Turmeric
• 6 Cups Chicken Broth/Stock
• 2 lbs. Red Potatoes, diced*
• 2 lbs. Frozen Corn
• 1 Cup Half & Half
• 6 oz White Cheddar Cheese
• Salt & Black Pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In a large stock pot, cook the bacon pieces in a little olive oil until “nearly crispy.” Remove bacon with a slotted spoon and set-aside. Cook onion in bacon grease until softened (about 6 minutes). Add celery and cook for another 4 minutes.
2. Add butter, flour, turmeric, salt & pepper to taste, and cook for 4 minutes. This will develop a roux that will thicken the soup.
3. Add chicken broth and potatoes. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 15 minutes.
4. Add cheese, half & half, and corn. Cook for an additional 5 minutes or until the soup returns to temperature and the cheese melts.
5. Serve hot – crumble the cooked bacon on-top, you've earned it!

FAQs

1. Bacon AND olive oil? Sounds greasy! >> Sometimes the bacon needs a little head start. I use a little olive oil because I think it adds to the taste. It’s a rich soup and doesn't taste greasy at all. Next time, keep your fucking opinions to yourself!
2. Cheese and half & half & butter… Are you trying to kill me? >> This isn't diet food, ok? I’m sure there are plenty of salad recipes just waiting for you and your fat ass!
3. Do I need to cook the corn before I put it in? >> Nope. The hot soup will “cook” that corn just fine. Be sure to bring the soup back up to temperature before serving. The cold half & half and frozen corn will drop the temp quite a bit – it should only take a few minutes to get it back.
4. What is “turmeric,” and what can I substitute? >> I don’t know what it is besides a spice that they sell at the store, but I know that it makes the soup a very nice shade of yellow. I wouldn't recommend substituting – surely someone of your means and wherewithal can find the time to go to the store to get some.

NOTES

• Potatoes come in 5 lb. bags - use half a bag, and you'll have another 2.5 lbs. for hash brown breakfast tomorrow.