Recipe: Jambalaya Linguine

I had a good recipe for jambalaya—with rice, but the kids don’t like rice: go figure! So, I converted it to linguine noodles. Guess what? They still don’t like it. They’re bound and determined to be served only hot dogs or chicken nuggets. I’d like to be there in 40 years when their doctors tell them about their terrible colon health – yeah, that’ll be some sweet-ass “I told you so!”

Ooo eee, child. That's some nice jambalaya!

Jambalaya Linguine
Serves 6 (or two great big fat guys)

INGREDIENTS

• 1 lb. linguine noodles
• 1 lb. polish sausage, cut in ~1/4” slices
• 2 green peppers, diced
• 3 stalks celery, chopped
• 1 large onion, diced
• 1 15 oz. can of diced tomatoes
• 1 8 oz. can of tomato sauce
• 1/2 cup chicken broth/stock
• 1/2 cup half & half
• 2 tsp thyme
• 1 large bay leaf (or 2 small)
• 1+ Tbs olive oil
• 1+ Tbs butter
• 1 clove garlic
• Salt & black pepper
• Fresh parsley (optional)
• Hot sauce (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In a large pot on medium-high heat, sauté onion, green pepper, and celery in olive oil and butter until tender – approx. 10 minutes.
2. Add thyme, tomato products, bay leaf, 1 tsp pepper, chicken broth, and sausage and cook on medium-low heat for 10 minutes.
   
3. Concurrently: boil the noodles according to the package instructions.
4. Concurrently: in a nonstick skillet, cook the sausage slices in a little butter until slightly crisp – approx. 5 minutes.
5. Check for salt - add some if needed
   
6. Drain noodles and add to pot. Add half & half, stir, and cook ~5 more minutes: until all are incorporated as one dish.
7. (Optional) Sprinkle-on chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
8. Eat. Add hot sauce at the table.

FAQs

• Polish sausage? >> Ask a Polack to make jambalaya, and you’re bound to get kielbasa thrown-in there somewhere. I suppose a fancy person might tell you to use Andouille sausage or something, well, I’m not that person. The polish sausage adds the exact right flavor, and it’s cheap and easy to find. Also, try to use skinless sausage if possible. A tough skin on the sausage might toughen-up a little in the skillet...
• Concurrently? >> Yeah, there are a few tasks that should be done at the same time. Boil the noodles and cook the sausage WHILE you’re cooking the vegetables.
• Half & half? That seems out of place! >> It’s like a vodka tomato sauces that adds cream at the end. It’s just the right thing that the dish needs, but you wouldn’t think of putting it in there. Just add the half & half and enjoy my wonderful experimentation.
• Hot sauce at the table? I have taste buds made of solid iron! >> Well, lah-dee-dah! I’m sure that you could eat a fiery meteor just after it lands, too! Meanwhile, the rest of us might want to have a different flavor profile better suited to our individual tastes. This isn’t a chili contest, ok? Just ease-up on the spices, and allow the rest of us to spice-it on our own.