Review: Chicago Manhattans

I've been known to enjoy a Manhattan, or three. On a recent week-long work trip to downtown Chicago, I had the opportunity to taste a few. Let's rate them and see how they stacked-up - it will be fun!

Monday night: The Bedford

Drinks in the bank vault? Sounds good to me.

The Manhattans and the service were great. The dark cherry was a welcome change from a typical maraschino.

Monday night #2: Bub City

Howdy, pardner!

After great drinks and a nice dinner, live country music and forgettable Manhattans. What more would you expect?

Monday night #3: Snickers

Looks can be deceiving, but not this time. It's a dive.

Ok, Bub City just closed, but we still need some drinks. "Snicker's" across the street? Yes. I believe I may have had a Manhattan and it was marginal at best, but my memory is clouded. Go figure.

Tuesday night: ugh, no Manhattans tonight. Even a badass needs to sleep sometimes.

Wednesday night: Epic

 

Not so comfortable rooftop. $13 Manhattan in a plastic glass?

The Manhattan was lame and overpriced. The bartender certainly wasn't hired for her mixology. One Manhattan and done. Also, Guinness from a can? Let's get out of here.

Wednesday night #2: Rockit

Upscale sports bar? Kind of. Good food.

Had a Manhattan upon arrival, and it was good, but I'm just not feelin' it tonight. Have a Farmhouse burger and a few beers.

Wednesday night #3: Blue Frog

Privacy shower curtains in the men's room are part of the charm of this place. Then hit the stage to redeem myself as the karaoke king of Chicago

Want a drink at this karaoke dive? Stick to PBR in a can - it's the local favorite.

Wednesday night #4: The Hangge Uppe

Try not to touch anything.

Blue Frog closes at 2 (last call ~1:15); Hangge Uppe is open until 4:00. Why not? Definitely did not order a Manhattan - not really sure what I would get. I did; however, stick to the floor for a few hours.

Thursday night: The Benchmark

Decent place in Oldtown. Pretentious ladies and bros who've grown-up.

I had one Manhattan - it was fine, but again, not feeling it. Maybe this is a bad week to judge Manhattans...

And, the winner...

Tall Pinkie with a Splash

At the company picnic Thursday, I drank a raft of these...

INGREDIENTS

• Pre-made vodka & pink lemonade (no clue on the ratios)
• Extra vodka
• Lime wedge
• Ice

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Walk-up to the bartender, and using your existing plastic cup as a guide, motion 3/4 of the glass for "pinkie," ask for an extra splash of vodka, and a lime
2. Bartender looks at you sideways and then obeys - they are getting paid for this after all
3. Return to friends and associates and their pink drink mockery. Whatever.

This is Why You're Drunk: Badass Manhattan

Let's get this straight right away: I know that the "typical" Manhattan recipe is 2:1 whiskey to vermouth plus a shot of bitters. I see two problems with this recipe:

• Not enough whiskey
• Too many bitters

So I've developed the preferred recipe. In a bar I'll drink whatever comes in the glass, but when I'm home in my jammies, and the Manhattan nightmares come creeping, this is what I use to drown them

I'm gonna enjoy this...

Badass Manhattan

3 parts bourbon (ahem, quality matters. Try Woodford Reserve - it's real good)

1 part sweet vermouth

1 cherry

Cherry juice

Ice

1. Fill a cocktail shaker half-full with ice
2. Enter the alcohol (bourbon & vermouth)
3. Stir - don't shake
4. Drop a cherry and a little juice (maybe 1/2 tsp?) into a clean cocktail glass (you know, a martini glass)
5. Strain your liquor into the glass
6. Enjoy with friends (or alone - I won't judge you)

That's it!

FAQs

• Is that it? >> Yeah, it's simple. I saw some receipes for super-complex Manhattans out there, but are you really going to spend 30 minutes caramelizing pears and all that nonsense? No, you are not.
• Do you really put a full part of vermouth in your Manhattan? >> Well, no, I don't. I usually put ~3/4 of a part of vermouth. I guess I prefer the taste of bourbon to the taste of vermouth - sue me.

This is Why You're Drunk: Gin Martini

For a long time, I thought I didn't like the taste of gin. I'll blame it on the Army: back in the day, at a Christmas party for my National Guard company, we were to toast with the "company drink:" a truly awful concoction invented back in the 20's. The drink was "Gin & Bitters," and it was revolting.

Fast forward 15 years, and there's a bottle in the liquor cabinet just begging for another chance, and you know what? I liked it!

Quality counts for this recipe - don't embarrass me...

Gin Martini
2 Parts Gin (break-out the good stuff)
1 Part Dry Vermouth
3 Olives impaled on a stick
Ice

1. Put everything except for the olives in a cocktail shaker
2. Shake vigorously*
3. Pour into fancy martini glass
4. Add olives
5. Enjoy with sophisticated friends

Remember: this is the kind of drink you enjoy with other people - people who can see how cool you are for drinking the "classic" martini. Good luck!

*NOTE: (10/24/2011) I've had a chance to re-think this recipe over the past 2 years. Everything's good EXCEPT the vigorous shaking. Now I prefer a gentle stir. That way, I'm not getting any shards of cracked ice in my drink (a concern of mine). So, now a conundrum for you: to shake vigorously or to stir gently? My advice: make two and taste for yourself...

This is Why You're Drunk: Limoncello Martini

My wife came home the other night from her sister's house with a gigantic bottle of Limoncello liqueur - seriously, the bottle was like 24" tall! Anyway, the sister couldn't fit the bottle in her freezer, so we get it. Apparently, we're known for the size of our freezer.

I immediately start thinking, "How can I use this liquor?" A quick internet search revealed porn, porn, and more porn. A deeper search revealed a bounty of recipes for Limoncello martinis. I used those, and made a better one:

Ah, refreshing lemony goodness

Badass Limoncello Martini
2 Parts Limoncello
2 Parts Absolut Citron (or your favorite citrus flavored vodka)
1 Part Simple Syrup*
Ice

1. Pour everything into your cocktail shaker. Affix top.
2. Shake the shit out of it.
3. Pour into martini glasses. Garnish with a thinly sliced lemon wheel in the glass

Simple Syrup
1 Cup Sugar
1 Cup Water

1. Put both ingredients into a small saucepan
2. Heat & stir until sugar is dissolved and mixture just begins to simmer
3. Remove from heat and cool in the fridge. This should last all weekend (cover w/ plastic wrap)

This is Why You're Drunk: Sidecar

Last week, the wife and I went to Ruth's Chris to cash-in a birthday $100 gift card. I've been searching for a drink for myself. Not that beer doesn't serve me well enough, but I needed something a little more special:

Sidecar

One part brandy or cognac
One part triple sec
One part lemon juice

Delicious and powerful - just like me. The dinner was good too!