Recipe: Chili

This chili just took second place in the chili cookoff at work, and won the coveted "People's Choice" award (boom, $25 gift card for me!). Why am I teaching you a second-place chili? Because I think the judges were full of shit - this is a FIRST PLACE CHILI, DAMMIT! Their Midwestern taste buds can go piss up a rope!

Make this for your chili cookoff, and see how it cleans-up. Respect, riches, and women: all waiting to be won through the simple preparation of beef, onions, and spices. Read-on.

Chili: simple and good. Make some up today

Beef Chili

Makes ~1 gallon - serves... 3?

INGREDIENTS

• 2 medium onions, diced
• 1 red bell pepper, diced
• 6 cloves garlic, minced (about 2 Tbs)
• 1/4 cup chili powder
• 1 Tbs cumin
• 2 tsp ground coriander
• 1 tsp red pepper flake
• 1 tsp dried oregano
• 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
• 2 lbs ground beef
• 2 cans (15 oz) dark red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes
• 1 can (28 oz) crushed tomatoes
• Salt

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In a large pot, heat 2 Tbs vegetable oil until shimmering. Add onion, garlic, red bell pepper, chili powder, cumin, coriander, oregano, red pepper flake, and cayenne pepper. Cook until onion and bell pepper are tender – about 10 minutes.
2. Stir-in beef, breaking-up pieces, and cook until beef turns brown – about 5 minutes.
3. Add beans, tomatoes, and 1/2 tsp salt. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for about 60 minutes, stirring occasionally. After one hour, remove lid and continue to cook for 30 more minutes.
4. Done, you may eat now.

STORAGE OPTIONS

• Sure, this is a good dish to enjoy right away, but it's so much better the next day.
• Short-term storage: I transfer this into two 1/2 gallon mason jars, and park it in the fridge. It should keep up to two weeks in the fridge before you will have to worry about bacterial invasion, but if this is in the fridge for two weeks, dude, are you really interested in eating chili?
• Long-term storage: I put the chili in a pint sized mason jar, and then pour that into a zip-top freezer bag (the mason jar is just for measuring ease). Then I seal the bag and lay it flat in the freezer. Once frozen, I can pile the chili bags in a stack, or line them up like books on a shelf. Ingenious! I have no idea how long they will last in the freezer - probably depends on you and your nasty habits.

FAQs

• That’s it? >> Yeah, this is a pretty simple recipe, but oh boy, it’s good!
• There are beans in your "chili," are you serious? >> Yeah. This isn't some "Texas styled meat condiment," it's a chili, and my chili has beans.
• What do you serve it with? >> This chili is great with just a few broken crackers, but you can make it into an event: shredded cheese, raw chopped onion, sour cream, and whatever else your twisted mind can think-up
• This is too easy - other chili makers seem to spend so much time and effort - what gives? >> Those people are wasting their time. Long cooking is meant to tenderize tough cuts of meat (ground beef - hello!). Just make this and reap the rewards