Thanksgiving: The Most ... Wonderful Time ... of the Year!

Since I want your Thanksgiving to be successful, and filled with warm memories, I'm putting-together a series of posts about Thanksgiving, and how you can make yours as good as mine (good luck, losers)

A bird this ugly should be eaten with your eyes closed

The Plan

Many people take a casual approach to cooking. Well, that shit won't fly for Thanksgiving. "Casual" is beer-league softball; this is the World Series. Get your A-game or GTFO!

Let's start Thanksgiving week by thinking of what we want to accomplish:

• Time-off from work - ok
• Warm family moments - I guess
• Football games (watch the Lions lose) - yes, I like this (GO BEARS!)
• Kick-ass food that will be remembered fondly forever - YES YES YES, THIS IS YOUR GOAL!!
• Get ready for Black Friday shopping - WTF? We put-up the tree that day.

With a clear objective, we're good to go. Let's talk about this year's menu:

• Turkey: the star of the show
• Sides: collectively, just as important as the bird
• Stuffing: oh yeah
• Mashed potatoes: required
• Sweet potatoes: usually lame, but I will teach you to make them good
• Corn: you need your vegetables
• Rolls: helps to clean-up the plate
• Cranberry sauce/jelly: I love the can-shaped cranberry jelly tube, but this year I'm adding a cranberry sauce. They will compete for my love
• Gravy: let's take a moment for gravy... OMG, a Thanksgiving without gravy is like a - well, there's no metaphor/simile that can finish this sentence. You simply cannot have Thanksgiving without a gravy. Period.

A note about the menu: you can see that there is no green bean casserole, no relish tray, and no dessert. Those things are all good - have your guests bring something (note: for 2014, mother-in-law is bringing broccoli casserole and dessert)

Since we can't cook everything at once, we'll need to project plan this MoFo to make sure we don't fuck things up. Here's the order we'll move forward:

Before Thanksgiving:

• Turkey stock (weekend before)
• Cranberry sauce (day before - or earlier)
• Begin the stuffing (day before)
• You might be able to prep some veggies the day before, but I am expert with the knife and like to do this as-needed on the day-of

Thanksgiving Day:

• Which leaves everything else for the day of
• You knew it wasn't going to be easy: sack-up, and get to work

I'll talk about detailed schedules in the recipes themselves. 

Don't get discouraged! Even you, with my expert help and attention, can probably craft a meal that will improve your worth and reputation. Let's get to it!