Badass Lentil Salad

Never in the history of food have the words "badass," "lentils," and "salad" been thrown together. Until now.

Badass Lentil Salad
Makes enough for ~6 lunches

Lentil salad at work. Glamorous, no?

INGREDIENTS

• 1 lb Pardina Lentils
• 2 Boneless Chicken Breasts
• 1 English (seedless) Cucumber, quartered and sliced
• 3 Sweet Bell Peppers (assorted colors), sliced thin
• 1/2 Red Onion, sliced thin
• 1 can Chick Peas or Garbanzo Beans (whichever available)
• Handful of Italian (flat leaf) parsely, chopped fine
• 1/2 bottle Italian Salad Dressing

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Cook the lentils
• Add the lentils to a medium saucepan (make sure there are no sticks or stones hidden in your lentils) and cover with water by 1 inch
• Heat until boiling. Add ~2 Tbs kosher salt (or 1 Tbs table salt)
• Drop the heat and simmer until al dente (tender but toothsome)
• Drain in a mesh strainer, rinse with cold water, and allow to drip for a few minutes. Put cooked lentils in a huge bowl
2. Cook the chicken
• In a nonstick skillet, heat ~1 Tbs of oil (I used olive oil) over medium-high heat until shimmering
• Add chicken breasts, sizzle, and cover. Cook for ~5 minutes
• Flip the breasts, sizzle, and cover. Cook for another ~5 minutes (check for chicken doneness - if not quite cooked, cut in-half lengthwise and cook a little longer)
• When done, evacuate to a plate, allow to cool until ok to touch
• Slice into very thin fork-sized pieces - add to bowl of lentils
3. Prepare the veggies
• Peppers: cut-off the four sides of each pepper (12 sides total). Then slice into very thin pieces (see pepper detail)
• Cucumber: cut-off either end of the cucumber, peel "most" of the dark green skin, cut in half lengthwise and then half again (result: 4 long quarters of cucumber), and then slice thinly
• Red onion: cut-off top and bottom of onion and then cut in half (pole to pole). Cut onion half in-half again (pole to pole) and slice thin. Result: thin quarter-onion rings. In a mesh strainer, rinse onion under cold water - allow to drain.
• Chick peas: drain can of beans into mesh strainer, rinse thoroughly with cold water.
• All veggies: when fully prepared, add to giant lentil bowl.
4. Add Italian dressing and parsley
5. Stir. Add a little salt, if needed
6. Done.

SERVING SUGGESTIONS

• Scoop into a bowl and eat with a spoon. It's the least glamorous thing you'll eat - except spray cheese from the can standing in-front of the fridge at 2 in the morning. That's less glamorous.

FAQs

• Is this a joke, or something? >> Sadly, no. In an effort to reduce carbs, I have turned to the lowly lentil. It's high protein and low carb and a good staple when trying to put-together a weight-loss lunch for the office. Cheap and easy.
• What are Pardina lentils? >> These lentils are more robust. When cooked, they stay together. Most other lentils completely disintegrate when cooking and must be handled differently.

Badass Mother's Day (crepes for my lady)

Hey, it’s Mother’s Day again, and your wife refuses to leave the bed until the children serve breakfast in it – what do you do?  Well, if you’re like me, and you don’t trust the children to NOT burn-down the house, then it’s downstairs to the crepe-making place…

Mmm, crepes...

Crepe Batter
Makes enough for ~12 8” crepes

INGREDIENTS

• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup milk
• 1/2 cup water
• 2 Tbs sugar
• 1 cup flour
• 3 Tbs melted butter

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Combine all ingredients and mix vigorously.  Be sure to evenly blend all ingredients into a homogenous mixture.  Park in the fridge for ~30 minutes – this will allow the mixture to come-together as one.
2. Heat a small (8”) non-stick pan to medium.  Add a small amount of butter to the pan (for lubrication purposes).  Ladle an amount of crepe batter that will evenly cover the bottom of the pan – to an approximate 1/8” thickness.  Cook for up to a minute – just enough time to “set” the bottom of the crepe.  Flip the crepe, and cook the other side (the second side should take less time – try 30 seconds to start).
3. Remove the crepe from the pan, place on a plate and cover with a kitchen towel (if planning to serve warm).  When you’ve amassed enough crepes, you may fill and serve.

SERVICE OPTIONS

• Spoon some filling down the center of the crepe and roll-up like a burrito.  There’s really no wrong way to fill a crepe. (filling options listed below...)

FAQs

• Crepe Technique?? >> the real ‘trick’ about crepes is the technique.  You want to allow the batter to spread itself throughout the pan evenly.  I ladle an appropriate amount of batter in the pan, and swirl it around until it’s even.  Practice with the first couple crepes – there should be enough for you to experiment.  If this is your first crepe making adventure, make a double-batch with the express intent of sacrificing an entire legion of misshapen breakfast quick-breads.
• Sugar?? >> this is a recipe for ‘sweet’ crepes.  There are such things as ‘savory’ crepes, but that is not my concern here – just remove the sugar if you want to fill it with BBQ chicken or something like that...

Berries & Cream Filling
Good for crepes, and just about anything else

INGREDIENTS

• 1 cup heavy cream
• 2 Tbs granulated sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Berry assortment (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries – you choose the mix)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Rinse all berries.  If using strawberries, cut them to match the size of the other berries.  Add rinsed/cut berries to a bowl and add 1 Tbs of sugar; mix.  This will help macerate the berries, which will force them to release some juices.  Trust me, this is what you want.  Put the berries in the fridge for 30+ minutes.
2. In the bowl of your stand mixer, add the heavy cream, 1 Tbs of sugar, and vanilla, and beat with the whisk attachment until stiff peaks form.  No stand mixer?  Change ‘stand mixer’ to ‘large bowl’ and ‘whisk attachment’ to ‘whisk under human power.’  It will take longer and far more effort by hand, but the taste will remain the same.

Chocolate & Banana Filling
Another winning combo

INGREDIENTS

• 2 bananas, sliced
• Jar of Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. No prep – just spread the Nutella on your crepe, and layer bananas inside – completely idiot-proof.

“Boston Cream” Filling
Holy shit! This was new for 2012, and OMIGOD it was a hit. Basically, it’s Nutella and pastry cream together. Wow. 

INGREDIENTS

• 2 Cups milk
• 1/4 Cup + 1/3 Cup granulated sugar
• 1 egg + 2 egg yolks
• 1/4 Cup cornstarch
• 2 Tbs butter
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Jar of Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread)

INSTRUCTIONS

Pastry Cream

1. In a small saucepan, cook 2 Cups milk and 1/4 Cup of sugar until the milk boils – then no further.
2. While the milk is heating, mix the whole egg and two egg yolks with a whisk until creamy and lightened in color. Add the 1/3 Cup sugar and 1/4 Cup cornstarch and whisk until fully blended and smooth.
3. When the milk begins to boil, remove from the heat and slowly introduce the boiling milk to the eggs. Slowly because if you pour all that heat into the eggs, you’ll scramble them – no good. What you’re doing is called “tempering,” and it’s a way to introduce something hot into something cold without “cooking” the cold thing. I use a ladle and do it one ladle-full at a time.
4. When all the hot milk has been incorporated, pour the whole thing back into the pot and cook (gently) for a few minutes, or until the mixture thickens. How long will this take? Oh, maybe a few DAMN SECONDS, holy shit – I turned my back on it yesterday, and then had a thick pot of stuff – luckily it wasn’t ruined, but stay close: this is going to set-up quickly.
5. When thickened, turn-off the heat, add the butter and vanilla and stir to melt the butter.
6. Pour into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap (directly touching the cream – to prevent a “skin” from forming) and park in the fridge until cooled. This will take 1+ hours.

Crepe assembly

1. Like in the chocolate-banana crepes, smear a crepe with Nutella spread and spoon-on some pastry cream.
2. Roll-up like a crepe and put on a plate. 

Technique: Bell Pepper Prep

Most times, when you need to use a bell pepper, you want strips (like for fajitas) or diced (like for other dishes). Rarely do you want the bell pepper to retain any form of its shape following preparation.

So, how do you handle this weirdly-shaped vegetable and those damn seeds?

Cut-off the side (or "cheek") of the pepper.

There are four sides - each will be flat and ready to work. 

AND, there will be no seeds to mess with.

Once the cheek of the pepper is removed, 

you can then slice it into strips - easy

Or dice it 

(slice into strips first, and then dice those strips)

Note

This also works for other vegetables - especially when you want diced tomatoes for taco night.

Recipe: Split Pea Soup

Egad, it's been a while since I posted. Have you all been starving in the meantime? I sure hope so - I don't want to consider what you're eating without my careful guidance and teachings.

Hey, it's springtime - the time of soup? Well, sure. People like soup - it's easy to eat. AND, when it's this easy to make, you don't ask questions:

Split Pea Soup
Makes approx. 1 gallon. Yeah, it looks disgusting, but it tastes oh so good…

Smooth. That's heavy cream artfully swirled on-top.

I am an expert. You can also sprinkle bacon on this: oh yeah.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 lb Dried Split Peas
• 6+ Cups Chicken Broth
• 2 Onions, diced
• 2 Stalks Celery, diced
• 1 Large Carrot, diced
• 3 Russet Potatoes, peeled and diced
• 1/2 lb. Bacon, cut into 1/2" pieces
• 2 Tbs Butter
• 2 tsp Cumin
• 1/2 tsp Thyme
• Salt & Black Pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In a large stockpot, cook the bacon over medium heat until crispy.  We’re trying to extract the grease from the bacon AND cook bacon to be used later as garnish.  Basically, cook the bacon until crispy but not burnt.  Evacuate the bacon to a paper towel lined plate, and pour off all but 3 Tbs of grease from the pot. 
2. Add butter, onions, celery, and carrots to pot and sauté until onions are softened and translucent – about 10 minutes.
3. Add peas, potatoes, chicken broth, cumin, and thyme and simmer for ~30 minutes or until peas are tender.
4. Using your kick-ass stick blender, buzz the soup until smooth.  Oh, don’t have a sick blender?  Well, I suggest getting one immediately.  If you still don’t have one, you can puree the soup (in batches) in your blender.  Make sure the top is securely fastened – hot soup is painful when it sprays you in the eye!
5. Serve and eat!

SERVING SUGGESTIONS

• You can garnish this with a little bit of heavy cream floated on top or even a dollop of sour cream.  That little blast of dairy would be a nice touch. You can also sprinkle-on the bacon. A sprinkling of bacon is always welcome to anything.

FAQs

• Bacon? >> Go figure, another great tasting dish that has bacon at its core.  In this case, the bacon is the smokiness that begins the flavor journey.  Be honest, you LOVE that there’s bacon in this soup...
• Can I go rustic? >> Yeah, I've seen this kind of soup served-up peasant style with all kinds of chunks and things. Let's be honest, a smooth pea-green soup is way more elegant than a chunky pea-green soup. You can eat what you like, but I'm teaching badass elegance here - not hipster-return-to-roots kinds of soup.

Recipe: Spaghetti with Meat Sauce

Now that the holidays are over, and we're all watching our weight, it's time to return to healthful alternatives. BUT WAIT, there's still a little time left for an Italian carb-load feast with plenty of flavor, but this is the LAST time (until the next time - I know how it goes...)

Parsley optional

Spaghetti with Meat Sauce
Serves 4-6 people twice (e.g. makes two dinners this week - easy/lazy meal)

INGREDIENTS

• 2 lbs ground beef
• 1 28 oz can diced tomatoes
• 1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes
• 1 12 oz can tomato paste
• 8 oz mushrooms, sliced
• 2 large bay leaves
• 2 cloves garlic, minced or crushed
• 2 tsp dried oregano
• 1.5 Tbs dried basil
• 1 tsp fennel seed
• 1+ large onion, diced
• 1 Tbs sugar
• 1 Cup Half & half
• 1/4 Cup red wine (optional)
• Olive oil
• Salt & pepper
• 1 lb spaghetti (or equivalent noodle)

INSTRUCTIONS

Sauce

1. Heat a large saucepan/stockpot to medium-high, add ~2 Tbs olive oil, and cook the onion until softened (about 5 minutes). Add mushrooms and cook another few minutes - until the mushrooms have softened and shrunk. Add garlic and ground beef and cook until brown (about 8 more minutes). 
2. Clear a space in the middle and add the half & half. Cook for another 5 minutes to boil-off the water - you just want the milk fat, yo.
3. Dump-in tomato products and stir well. Bring to slight boil (bubbles should just start breaking the surface).
4. Lower heat to med-low, and spices and liquor: oregano, basil, fennel seed, bay leaves, wine, and black pepper (to taste) - hold-off on the salt for a little bit. Cover, and cook for ~30 minutes: enough time for the flavors to blend together. Stir occasionally - you don't want the sauce to stick to the bottom of the pot.
5. Skew the lid of the pot and continue to cook for another 30 minutes. Keep returning to the pot occasionally to stir. 
6. Check seasoning and add salt (if needed) and sugar. Cook for another 10 minutes.
7. Ready to serve or rest (see note)

Pasta

1. Heat at least a gallon of water in a large stockpot on the stove. Pro tip: cover the pot while heating to make it reach a boil faster. Do not add oil to the water - that will not help anything.
2. When the water reaches a boil, add 3-4 Tbs of kosher salt to the water (use 1-2 Tbs of table salt if you don't have the kosher salt) and stir to dissolve
3. Add the pasta and cook to the approximate time on the box/bag
4. Drain in a colander - do not rinse.
5. Use immediately - cover to keep the pasta warm.

SERVING SUGGESTIONS

• Ladle generously over cooked pasta or eat from the pot with a spoon.  Don't get any on your fancy clothes.

FAQs

• Check seasoning - what am I checking for? >> You’re checking for salt. Add salt. Add a little less than you think you need, and check again in a few minutes. It's better to under-salt than over-salt.
• What does "rest" mean? >> This sauce is good the day it's made, but it's OH SO MUCH BETTER the day after it's made. Just allow to cool in the pot and then transfer to a fridge-friendly container (I use two half-gallon mason jars). The next day, reheat and serve over pasta. You can also freeze this sauce – works great!

Recipe: Badass Appetizer Meatballs

These are the meatballs that everyone expects me to bring to every damn family holiday gathering. So, beware: if you make and bring these, you will be signing-up for a lifetime of holiday meatball delivery. Which is good, because they are awesome, but bad because we don't want to owe anything to anyone. I walk alone...

Parsley optional

Badass Appetizer Meatballs
Serves 6? I suppose this depends how fat and hungry your family is

INGREDIENTS

• 2 lbs Breakfast pork sausage (1 lb regular, 1 lb spicy)
• 1/3 Cup Bread crumbs
• 1 Egg (large, of course)
• 1 Cup Ketchup
• 4 Tbs Brown sugar (dark is the only brown sugar you need) NOTE: 4 Tbs = 1/4 Cup
• 2 Tbs Vinegar (I prefer apple cider vinegar, but white works here too)
• 2 Tbs Soy sauce

INSTRUCTIONS
Sauce

1. In a large pot, put ketchup, soy sauce, brown sugar, and vinegar
2. Stir to combine
3. Heat lightly until bubbling (this will happen much faster than you think)
4. Done

Meatballs

1. Combine meat, egg, and breadcrumbs and mix with your hands until homogeneous. Pro tip: leave the meat out of the fridge for a while (like 30 minutes) to take-away some of that chill. Mixing cold meat is not as fun as mixing room temperature meat.
2. Roll into balls - ping pong ball size works best
1. Grab a little meat with your fingers
2. With two flat palms, "roll" the meat in your hands until it shapes into a ball
3. Put perfectly formed meatball down onto a plate or something
3. In a large non-stick skillet, brown your meatballs. You don't need any oil because the meatballs bring their own fat (thank you, pig, for being so thoughtful)

Cooking meatballs in the skillet. 

Note the browned side and going-back to brown the other two sides

4. As one side browns, be sure to turn the meatballs to brown the other sides. I find that for this part, a meatball has three sides.
5. When complete, put the cooked meatballs into the sauce mixture
6. Heat the meatballs in the sauce for ~20 minutes or until cooked through and the sauce sticks like a glaze

Cook the meatballs in the sauce. This is where the marriage begins

7. Done. Put the meatballs into an efficient and effective transport container that can be used to gently reheat your balls at the appropriate eating location

Meatballs in the crock pot ready to bring to the party. 

Oh, I should try one? Don't mind if I do...

HOW TO EAT

• Pierce with a toothpick and put in your mouth. Pro tip: bring meatballs AND toothpicks to the party, You'll be the toast of the town

RECIPE NOTES

• What if you have too many balls to fit in the skillet all at once? >> I have the same problem: I have too many balls. I cook my balls in two batches in the skillet - no worries.

See? Here's me cooking the second batch of meatballs (right) 

as the first batch bathes in the sauce (left). Multitasking is badass!

• This doesn't seem like enough balls to feed my hungy hungy hippos. Any ideas? >> When I make these for a party, I never make only one batch - I make two. BUT, I have found that you can't just make a monster vat of meatballs and sauce. The problem is that if you try to cook 4 lbs of meatballs in the sauce, the meatballs on the bottom will disintegrate under the weight of the top balls. Best to make this in two+ distinct batches. Cleaning your pots and pans in the middle. Mix the two+ batches in the crock pot. That's bad ass!

Technique: Pie Crust and Recipe: Bacon & Onion Quiche

Bacon & onion quiche. 

Also peas and home-made hash browns. Dinner time

Wait a second... Isn't there already a quiche recipe on this site? Yes, there is, but that was ham and cheese - this is bacon and onion. Big difference? No, but it's a way of revisiting the quiche in general - which is generally a good thing.

So let's begin!

First, let's talk about the differences between the earlier recipe and this one:

• The pie crust in the earlier recipe called for water and vodka, this only wants water
• The pie crust in the earlier recipe was made by hand, this was made in a food processor

What does this mean? Sounds like there are a few different ways to make a pie crust. YOU ARE CORRECT! Here's what you want from a pie crust:

A pie crust should be tender and flaky:

1. Tender: this means a minimum amount of gluten. Gluten is the protein that gives structure to baked breads. It is created/strengthened by working dough. The more you work a piece of dough, the more gluten is created. To maximize tenderness, minimize the dough work. Tender!
2. Flaky: this means there are layers and layers of the dough. This is done by thin "sheets" of fat separating flour particles from one another. When the dough cooks, and the fat melts away, the sheets of flour are all that remain. Flaky!

The earlier recipe substituted vodka for some of the water in an effort to minimize the gluten. Sounds like a decent idea, but kind of a pain. Also, vodka is for drinking! The new recipe relies on the speed and efficiency of the food processor to minimize the working of the dough and the formulation of the gluten. Let's just agree that the two pillars of a successful pie crust are creating layers of fat & flour and the minimization of the gluten formation. Honor those two tenets, and your pie crust will be A.O.K.

Next, is this bad ass? Yes, proper cooking and science literacy are both bad ass. Otherwise, it's dumb ass.

Bacon & Onion Quiche

Serves 6 (probably, or 4 for dinner and then 2 for left-over breakfast)

Pie Crust

INGREDIENTS

• 1 1/2 Cups All purpose flour
• 1/2 Cup Vegetable shortening (aka Crisco)
• 3 Tbs Cold butter, cut into thin pieces
• 1/2 tsp Table salt
• 2-4 Tbs Cold water

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In the workbowl of your food processor, add the flour and salt, and process until mixed (like 2 damn seconds)
2. Add the shortening and butter and process in bursts until evenly processed and no fat is individually visible (like 5 pulses)
3. Through the feed tube, add 2 Tbs of water and process until it comes-together as a dough (like 3-4 seconds)

When the dough comes-together, it will look like this. A dough ball in the processor.

4. If it doesn't come-together, add a little more water and process until it does (add a small amount at a time - the goal is to add only as much water as the dough needs and no more)
5. Dump the dough onto your clean countertop (sprinkled with a small amount of flour to keep it from sticking)
6. Work the dough lightly into a hockey puck shape. Wrap with wax paper (or plastic wrap) and put into the fridge for 1-24 hours. This will rest the dough, allow the fat to re-congeal, and allow the water to hydrate the remaining dry flour in the dough. It needs at least an hour, but more time won't hurt it.
7. Remove the dough from the fridge and have the pie plate ready
8. Dust your countertop and your rolling pin with a small amount of flour (like 2 and 1 Tbs respectively)

This is the right amount of flour for your work surface

9. Deposit the hockey puck into the flour and roll in one direction (from you toward the wall). Then turn the dough 90 degrees and roll again (from you toward the wall). You want to avoid rolling any which way because this will cause some parts of your dough to be thinner than the other parts. Baking is a cruel bitch, and she demands motherfucking precision.
10. If the dough sticks a little to the counter, toss a little flour under there and keep going. Keep rolling and turning until it's ~1/8" thick and bigger than your pie plate by ~2" all around.
11. Transfer your perfect dough to the ready pie plate. To do this easily, lightly "roll" the dough around your rolling pin and unroll it into the pie plate. Try to get it perfectly centered, otherwise gently shift it into position. CAREFUL: that pie crust is kinda fragile. If you rip it or something, just push the two parts together - it should mend. This works best if you don't use TOO MUCH DAMNED FLOUR when rolling-out the dough. Too much flour will prevent the dough from sticking to itself for repairs.

Easily move the dough by wrapping it around the pin

12. Artfully prepare the edges of your pie. I like these best:
1. Fluted-edge
2. Crisscross edge
3. Petal edge
4. and Rope edge. Save the others for your retirement when you have nothing but time and need to impress the ladies' auxiliary with your home baking skills

Scallop edge: sure it looks nice, but that's a lot of work

13. Cut a sheet of parchment paper slightly larger than your pie, press the paper lightly to the bottom dough, and add enough pie weights to cover the bottom. WHAT THE?!? Read the note about this step below.
14. Blind bake your crust at 425 degrees for 15 minutes.
15. The pie crust is complete and ready for savory fillings.

RECIPE NOTES

• Parchment paper and whatnot? >> To achieve a cooked bottom crust, we'll need to pre-bake the pie crust. If we just bake it as-is, the bottom will bubble-up because the heat from the bottom of the pie plate will cook the fat and make steam. The steam will have no place to go and will make a bubble. The bubble will eventually cook and set that way - crusty. We need to either 1. keep the bubbles from forming (pie weights) or 2. give the steam an escape route. I prefer using the pie weights, but if you don't have those, "dock" your pie crust before baking. That means pierce it all-over with a fork. Don't go apeshit, just make enough holes for any trapped steam to find an escape route. I prefer a perfectly clean and hole-free bottom crust, but this will be fine for a quiche.

Pie weights on the left; docking on the right. Choose one

• Why butter and shortening? >> Shortening makes the best flakes but butter tastes better. Using both (more shortening) will allow you to live in both worlds - flaky and delicious. That's also why we added salt: for taste.

Quiche

INGREDIENTS

• 5 Large eggs (3 whole and 2 yolks)
• 1+ Cup Half & half
• 8 oz. Bacon, cut-up into small pieces (like 1/2" or something)
• 1 Onion, diced
• 8 oz. Shredded cheese (you choose the type - see note)
• Black pepper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Cook the bacon in a skillet until almost crispy. The texture won't really toughen-up any more in the quiche, so cook it how you like it. For most people, this is just past leathery and short of brittle. Set the bacon aside.
2. IN THE SAME DAMNED SKILLET, remove about half the bacon grease and cook the onion until tender and translucent (about 5-10 minutes depending on heat). Why use the same skillet? For flavor, dummy. Set the cooked onions aside.
3. In a 2 Cup glass measuring cup, crack three eggs and then add two egg yolks. Separating eggs is easy:
1. Crack the egg over the sink (or, if you want to preserve the white, over a bowl)
2. Carefully separate the shell positioning the yolk in either half
3. Allow the white to drip away - shift the yolk around in the shell to dislodge as much white (albumen) as possible
4. Dump the yolk into your 2 Cup measuring cup and repeat
4. With a fork, violently mix the eggs into a homogeneous yellow mass of fat and protein. Yum.
5. Add enough half & half to slightly exceed the 2 Cup mark on the glass measuring cup. The goal is slightly more than 2 Cups of liquid. If you're using dry measuring cups, fill it to the top, dump into a bowl, and then add a little more half & half.

See how there's space above the 2 Cup markings?

This is a liquid measuring cup. Use this one.

6. Add pepper to taste and violently stir some more - until homogeneously combined.
7. To the pre-cooked pie crust, add some cheese, then some bacon & onion, then a little more cheese, then the rest of the bacon & onion, then the rest of the cheese (it's a cheese-meat-cheese-meat-cheese sandwich).
8. Pour the egg mixture over the whole thing, slowly. If you're using a shallow pie plate, you might not use all the egg mixture. If you're using a deep pie plate, well, remember that next time and slightly increase all the ingredients to fill-up your bottomless pie bucket of a plate. Sheesh.
9. Carefully place the quiche into the oven and cook at 350 for ~45 minutes. At 40 minutes, check the quiche by lightly jiggling the dish - if the center doesn't move (or moves very little), the quiche is done. Otherwise, cook a few more minutes and check again.
10. Allow to cool slightly (like 10-15 minutes) and then cut into wedges and eat.

RECIPE NOTES

• What kind of cheese should I use? >> That's all about personal preference. I think Swiss goes pretty well with bacon and onion, but so does sharp cheddar. You want something with some flavor - stay away from mozzarella or Monterey Jack.